paiyrx

I have some good news and some uh, very disturbing news.

Good news. I watched the uh, new Quentin Tarantino movie on the plane, uh, home (I got home on Thursday afternoon), Inglorious Basterds. Not quite, uh, sure why the title is deliberately misspelt, but anyway.. It was a good film, I.. think. Maybe I should buy a Bowie knife now and uh, incorporate some war themes into my uh, nightly activities?
I also saw, uh, The Taking of Pelham 123. I thought it was a bit weird how Ryder suddenly changed the, uh, subject to religion and prayed, but otherwise the plot held together, uhm, quite well. Although, who wouldn't have seen that uh, laptop glowing under the seat if... uhm, if the lights of the train were cut? Anyway, maybe I'm just being pedantic.. Maybe.

Bad news. This morning, I opened my bathroom, uh, cabinet for my daily routine - face wash, et cetera -and I noticed that the(previously unopened) Vaseline on the third shelf up was missing. I looked around and found it, uh, in the living room, but around a fifth was used. So now I have to call Pryce over because I think we uh, need to have a serious talk about what happened, and I also need to get someone to clean the glass table because it's a bit greasy now. Just great, motherfucking great.

tl;dr: I'm back, and really need to talk to Pryce about this whole thing. It'd be much easier if he was on this site, don't you think? Someone should convince him to make an account, because there's uh, no way I am. Then I wouldn't have to take a few buses to his apartment or organise him coming over here. Over the phone would be too, uh, awkward.

So I`m getting uh, back to New York mid-Thursday. I might not have, uh, internet for a while until then, because I`ve only been using a hired laptop and I have to give it back tomorrow.

How is everyone?

I found a story the other day about me and Sean, uh.. well..
What the fuck is that shit anyway?
 
Oh, I bought a new nailgun over here, too, and a pistol. It`s a Browning 9mm semi-automatic Hi-Power. The nailgun is cordless (gas powered), and has a one-for-one trigger so it`s easy to control.
 

Also, I found a bird's nest on the windowsill of my apartment yesterday.. It has a mother bird and a baby in it. What should I do with it? I'm at a crossroads between dissecting the mother and feeding it to the baby or just pushing it off the windowsill completely.
Open to suggestions, though, so feel free to convince me to do otherwise.

Who is worse?

Uh, hello everyone.

Sorry if I've been acting weird or haven't been replying to your comments, I think someone hacked my account and Hotmail account.
Price is working on it.

So I did something kind of weird today.

1. Discovered eBay.
2. Bought a Tamagotchi.

..Fuck yeah.

McDermott will be so jealous

I just had the worst nightmare.

Courtney and I are out shopping for suits (she never comes with me to shop for suits, because I usually buy knives at the same time), and I find a plain black one with a red silk tie. It isn't even designer. Maybe even custom. Courtney decides to buy it for me with some generic credit card, and doesn't even let me show the hardbody behind the counter my American Express card just to show that we aren''t lower-class.
Then Luis-fucking-Carruthers arrives, and he's bought something (I could only see the bag he was holding, not what was in it) - probably some faggy tie. He waves at me, and suddenly Courtney's disappeared to another section, leaving us alone. He comes on to me about eight times, and I discover I've left my Browning 9mm Hi Power semi automatic pistol at home, near the fridge (which I've also left open, and my frozen bran muffin and Sabrina's head are probably defrosting). I try to walk away, but he grabs the sleeve of my suit and we're almost bumping noses.
But then some greasy bum arrives and starts stabbing everyone, including the hardbody and Luis, (which means I probably have no chance of sleeping with her later unless I rape her body) and I discover I'm late for a lunch Price and I were going to have at Crayons.

I'm almost in tears at the moment.

This dream was anything but a laugh riot.

So, I watched The Shining today. Good movie.

Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in..
Not by the hair of your chinny chinny chins?

Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in.

So, I'm off to Los Angeles for a week-long business trip tomorrow. I hope they have a Texarcana or Four Seasons there..
Anyone have any idea?

It's Pat, here. Pat Bateman. 

Paul kept telling me about this site before he, uh, went to London a few years back.. I finally checked it out.

Still working at P&P. Evelyn eventually married Bryce. Courtney killed herself about three months after we saw each other last, just before Easter.  I've put all my Phil Collins albums on my new laptop. I especially like 'Sussudio' at the moment. The whole album has a sheen of consummate professionalism which really gives the whole thing a big boost.